Creativity, where art thou?

I need to get my creativity back. I used to draw/paint/write almost everyday and now I don't remember the last time I did any of the three. I need a muse. Hmm. I'll figure something out. I also have a very special painting I've been working on for MONTHS! Well, actually I've only worked on it for 2 days but it's been months since I last touched it. It deserves to be finished soon. We'll see how it goes. Okay, every day I will set aside at least half an hour of art work, half an hour of writing and half an hour of reading!!! That shouldn't be tough. Gotta get my creative juices flowing! I should put in an hour of walking/jogging too. Girl's gettin chubbier by the second. Not bueno!

Ondoy Rescue Relief - Sept. 28, 2009

Natural Disaster - Ondoy and Pepeng

I've been in the Philippines (Metro-Manila) for over 3 years now. Not that 3 years has been a long time, but I've experienced Typhoon Millenio and it was nothing like what happened with Ondoy. People who have been here their whole lives and news reports, etc. have been saying that Ondoy, which struck us last Saturday, September 26th, 2009 was/is historical.

Today, Pepeng was supposed to hit the Metro, but apparently it changed course and went more North. Of course I am grateful that my family is okay, but what about the people who are being affected as I type this now? What CAN I do? I wish I knew.

I've spent the majority of my week helping out as much as I can. Having little money, I spend what I have on taxis to get to and from whatever headquarters set up to help pack or venture out to areas that were flooded by Ondoy but safe enough now to distribute food and goods. Yet, I still feel irrelevant. I know, it's not about me or how I feel. And I know it's better to help out than to sit around and do nothing but what MORE can I do? There's gotta be something more. Hopefully with a little prayer (or perhaps, a lot), God will guide me towards the right direction. One that will allow me a better position to really help people.

Anyhow, this week has shown me just how beautiful the people I surround myself with are. I've always known that I have some really caring and charitable friends but the way people sacrificed (and still are sacrificing) their time and energy towards helping others is truly inspiring and commendable. I'm hoping their giving hearts will vibe out to others and inspire them to help as well. Because the Philippines needs it so much. So does the rest of the world.

Here is my prayer for now:
God, please guide us. We trust you.

Bride and groom kissing me :)

Lay and i at bureau

Chicken curry and roti

The ladies. Happy birthday Shai!

I Blame Me

You tell me all that you want in a woman
And I see so much of "her" in me
Someone confident and secure with herself
Down to kick it like she's the homie
And baby you when you need your head rubbed (pun not intended)
To fall asleep
I do all of that gladly but you know I front a bit
Doing things I'd never done before
Like rub you down with a wet towel when you were sick
All that time seeing a potential "us" able to grow
But what I didn't know is that point blank
You're a flirt
So I shouldn't take to heart your actions and words
Because with every attempt to kiss me
Was the probable intended failure in us kissing
Because I'm in the friend zone;
You've told me about your past relationships
And even about shorty you gettin to know now
Asking me how to say phrases in Tagalog
So you can correspond in her first language
I must admit, that's really cute and I gladly helped you out
But there was a sting of jealousy
The attention you give her is the attention I've been wanting to receive
But apparently it's something you just can't see
And I know the only person to blame is me

Update & The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

I haven't posted anything in quite some time. So let me just update. I've been working on writing songs a lot lately. So far I have written 6! My friend, Chrizo, produces the tracks. It's really such a great feeling to listen to myself sing songs I've written. So yeah, we're in the process of making my album and it's all coming together slowly but surely. Other than that I'm just trying to improve myself. Eat better (this one is hard! haha), think more positively, be there for loved ones when they need me, etc.

Speaking of being there for loved ones, I finished reading The Perks of Being A Wallflower - awesome book! I found myself laughing out loud and I couldn't stop myself from crying. It's been said that reading increases empathy. I don't think I've ever felt this empathetic while reading a book. Stephen Chbosky (the author) did a great job of really showing you how the narrator feels by writing the reader letters. Plus, he touches on some hardcore subjects that a lot of people find themselves in within their lives. There are also a bunch of other books mentioned in it. Some I've read, some I haven't. So I'm hoping to go down the list and read the ones I haven't! Needless to say, you should read it.

Diary.. Take 1

I didn't notice till just now, as I'm uploading this into my blog, that the last 3 digits of the filename is 489.. and in this song she says "call 489-4608".. haha

15 Books

For some reason my facebook won't let me post this as a note :(
So here I am posting it here :P

The rules:
Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you've read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Tag 15 friends, including me. (I sent this to you because I really am curious what books you have read that have stuck with you)
In no particular order:

1. The Promise(Romance novel. Don't laugh at me. First book I couldn't put down and yes, it made me cry)
2. The Giver (I'm making Raniel read it now)
3. The Kite Runner
4. The Coldest Winter Ever
5. She's Come Undone
6. Catcher In The Rye
7. For One More Day
8. Their Eyes Were Watching God
9. Casanegra (I think I was just so excited to be reading something by Blair Underwood hahaha)
10. Dreams From My Father
11. Flyy Girl
12. The Gargoyle (Thaaaaaaaanks Cinds)
13. Diaries of A Video Vixen (Sometimes you want to read gossip hahah)
14. In Cold Blood (it gave me shivers)
15. The Alchemist

Bryan/Margaux Funnies

Bryan had tweeted about seeing a fellow comic on stage sayin "I'll blow up your butthole like 1975." He wasn't sure what happened in 1975...

Me: i'm pretty sure 1975 was the end of the vietnam war!
blow up your butthole
wow
B: Lol
Me: why was he talkin bout blowin up buttholes???? gross
B: Was it.. It was a vietnamese comic who said it
I spelled that wrong ll I'm drivin
Me: yeah i'm not surprised wow
lol
you spelled it right! good job
:)
B: It made me laugh jus out of context
I never thought of blowin up a butthole like a yr
Me: yeah blowin up buttholes is a pretty funny statement lol
B: Imma fuck u like 1842
Me: hahahha
1842 - anesthesia is used for the first time in an operation.. sooo it makes sense - ima fuck u till ur numb
hahahhahaha
B: Lol
Lmao you make my funny funnier

:D

Buhay Dalaga 2009

Directed by Darwin Go

Buhay Dalaga 2009 from Darwin Go on Vimeo.

Quote Of The Day

Bryan: We not John and Kate Plus 8. We Marg and B plus 3. Dan, Barry and Sap - they our kids.


HA HA HA HA I love funnies :)

I love to cook

Steak, mashed potatoes, carrots and corn = i'm fat

Princess Boo

Copied & Pasted from my facebook note that I wrote yesterday...

----

Last Night's/This Morning's Fun and Sadness

It's so strange the way life works out.

Last night I had one of the funnest nights out in a while. Surrounded by good people, dancing, singing, laughing our asses off. Everyone was just omitting the TONIGHT WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN vibe. And when I say everyone I mean EVERYONE. Good times indeed. It was great too because I hadn't slept the night before except for a couple hours at most. I was thinking that once I got in the club I just might knock out. I've done it before. Two times even, I think? Anyhow, you get the point. The club last night was great.

Then I got home. Silly came in to use the rest room and on her way out, I locked the front gate. I was still tipsy. I looked down at Princess and she seemed too lethargic. I noticed she had thrown up twice - a good deal of food. And she didn't even touch the food I had given her earlier. So I sat down in front of her and talked - I talk a lot to dogs. Her especially though because she's a very intuitive and sensitive dog. One time, back in the Bay, I was home by myself bawling my eyes out (over some serious stuff) and she came in my room and just sat next to me. She knew I needed someone around. Anyway, I noticed her breathing was off. She was like gasping for air. So I started to worry a lot. I hit up Layla and told her she wasn't feeling well at all. Then I tried to diagnose her online but everything said bring her to the vet. Home alone with no car and it being 5AM, there was nothing I could DO. So I sat outside with her and prayed and tried to convince her to stay strong because something was telling me she didn't have long. She was trying. Then she just stopped breathing. Her eyes were still open. My mom said that supposedly people who die with their eyes open are waiting for someone. I figured she was waiting to see the rest of the family.

I went from being high off life, having fun with great people to losing a very dear part of my family in a matter of minutes. I'd never sobered up that quick before.

I know you're in Doggy Heaven now Princess. I love you and miss you already. Thanks for being there for me, knowing not to lick me on my face because I'm allergic but drooling everywhere else and just being a great dog.

I love this picture

Tashi and Princess resting during a trip to Tiendesitas

Princess and Raniel back in the day

Princess and her mom, Layla

My other sister, Nicole with Tashi and Princess

I loved when she would be this fat. Love you Princess Boo

Voila!

Here is my new blog! I figured I had one too many and it'd be best to just compile all the blogs together in one uber blog. Woot woot!

Here you shall find my videos, my art (make up, painting, etc) and poetry. As well as blogs I just feel like writing - updates and reflections of life and such.

Something very sad happened this weekend but I'll put that in another post because it's completely unrelated.

Well that's all for now. Keep checkin' in!

The Image Of Who I Want To Be (Unfinished)

The image of who I want to be
Is something I strive for others to see
But at times my actions contradict this image
Leaving me doubtful of the strength of mind I was given

When given advice I respond with
"I know"
Then I do the opposite
Forgetting that I reap what I sow

Living your life to the fullest
Can cloud your judgment

Right Now

The inconsistent splash of the raindrops hitting the roof, the road, the cars, etc.
Brother talking to himself, singing to himself, sniffling and chuckling while clicking away at his mouse, entertained by the world wide web
Mom walking around cleaning and fixing things that don't really need to be fixed or clean, flapping her tsinelas as loud as possible
The absence of Dad and Sister due to them having full time jobs
The electric fans whirling and squeaking
Tashi walking around nervously, unsure of where to settle herself in fear of a possible thunderstorm
Mr. and Mrs. Garcia's TV being so loud I can hear that they're watching a Tagalog show
My mind being everywhere one moment
Nowhere the next

Sabado Nights - Cameo @ Circa

For some reason I always want to record videos with Vern around. I didn't catch it but he did tell me to pee o myself again! HA.

Face Painting.. Or rather, PaintED!

Yesterday was my friend Erica's daughter's birthday party - Hi Aycs, Hi Dada! It was circus themed. Weeks ago I offered my services to do face painting. Despite my inexperience I figured it shouldn't be too tough. Anyhow, no one wanted me to paint their face. I did Dada's (Erica's daughter) face. I was drawing a butterfly.. but before I could finish she wanted to wash it off. Haha. So she did!! :P

Anyhow, I suggested that if she ever does another circus themed party, to just have someone be the canvas for the kids to paint on. Sarah heard that and began to work her magic. Then her daughter, Kaya, and my brother, Raniel contributed. After someone put a wig on me, I was finished. Tada!!!



This isn't my artwork, but it's art nonetheless so I thought I'd share :)

Inspired by MAC Style Warrior

Filipina Barbie meets Winehouse meets Emo Chick??

Earlier my lil cousin hit me up - Hiiiii Kyna!! She asked me to do her make up for prom, which is in September or October. Now that I think of it, that's weird that her prom's in Sept./Oct. Haha. Anyhow, I was so happy she asked me :)

I started looking at her myspace/facebook to see her style. I'm not sure if I'm "labeling" her correctly but I'm pretty sure she has a rock/emo/skater girl look. So I thought BLACK EYELINER is key. I wanted to test out an "emo" look on myself but I started thinking pink and then I did my hair in a sort of Amy Winehouse style. Anyhow, she's professed before that she's not a girly girl so I have a feeling she won't be too keen on me doing this on her. But I thought I'd share nonetheless :D Haha, Tashi needs a cut baaaad!

Enjoy!!

New Falsies!!

Cheap too! :)

Last night as I was killing time before a late dinner with one of my dearest friends, Sarah, I went to Landmark (Makati) and found a WHOLE LOT of false eyelashes... FOR CHEAP - 50pesos and 60pesos (a little over a dollar!). I just got two because I ended up buying a top and nail polish for myself (hehe) and a hair comb/pick and clips for my sister since she wants to start doing hair - LaysManePage.

Anyhow, here's a couple of photos of me wearing the lashes. I got home at bit after midnight and was so excited to try them out but hella tired at the same time.. soooo I put on one of each. Haha

Enjoy!

Mom's Eyebrows

Eyebrows are pretty tough to do. Luckily (not really for them) my Momma and sister have little to no eyebrows which means practice for me! I don't really have eyebrows either actually. Haha. Anyhow, today I did my mom's eyebrows.

make-up: theeamateurartist
model: Susan aka Momma aka Mom aka Woman

Here is a photo with one eyebrow before I got my hands on it and one after.

Yeah, Momma would walk out the house with that thin ass line for her eyebrows - she'd draw it herself! But she was very pleased after her eyebrow make-over :) Now here is a photo with both eyebrows done. This was taken when the fam went out for dinner earlier :P She's silly...

Philippine Fashion Week - May 30, 2009

Last night I went to 2 shows for Philippine Fashion Week. Penshoppe at Mall of Asia and M Barretto at SMX. Outside of make-up and whatever get up I pick for myself, I know little to nothing about fashion. Yet I am good friends with people who are very much into fashion; models, stylists, etc. Anyhow, I had to make sure I at least had a nice face! :P M Barretto is a men's line so hopefully I can catch another show before Fashion Week ends and see some women on the runway to get inspiration for my own style!

Thank you to my beautiful friend, model/host Sarah Meier-Albano, for having me there.

Here are photos (from my cel haha) of my make-up before I headed out to the show. Then some of the men on the runway from Baretto's line. I liked his stuff. I could see myself picking out some of his sweaters for my imaginary boyfriend :D

Enjoy!

Lighting Is Very Important!

Sorry for the not so great pictures. The model's great though, huh? :D
Oh and please excuse my face in these pictures! This is gonna sound gross but I came home from a late night out and basically just woke up and wanted to do her hair and make-up. Hahaha. Sooo that explains the smudged eyeshadow and the lack of eyebrows!!


make-up/hair: theamateurartist
model: my sister aka layla aka ate layla aka laylers aka bule

Enjoy!!

"We Are Not The Same I Am A Martian"

Did this a while back while listening to Lil Wayne's "Phone Home" featuring Mike Jones. Who? Mike Jooonnnnnes! HAHA.

Anyhow, I used water-color-pencils. They're so much fun!

Here's what it looked like without water:


And the finished product. It's so fun and easy to use :)

Practice Pocahontas

I saw on someone's site that they're doing a contest for best Disney inspired make-up. Basically choose something Disney, find a picture you want to use as a muse and go for it. My make up is far from set in doing anything too colorful so I opted for something Pocahontas since it's very earth-toney. TONEY? HAHA!

Anyhow, I still wish I had a lot more colors to work with. ANNND the lighting in mi casa is minimal sooo I need to stick to practicing during the day when natural light peers through my windows. Otherwise the pictures don't come out too well. Siiiigh, c'est la vie.

Enjoy!








"I look once more just around the riverbend. Beyond the shore where the gulls fly free. Don't know what for. Why do all my dreams extend just around the riverbend?"

Tipsy

After a night out, I came home a bit tipsy and took a picture of my eye shadow.
The flash is hella bright!
But I must say, that looks pretty good after a long drunken night!

Enjoy!

Uncle Paul & Auntie Bonnie

You can't really see them because I'm so far
And my cell phone's video sucks (BUT I'M NOT COMPLAINING!)
Didn't really get a tan, daaaang!

Red Dress Doll

model/make-up: theeamateurartist
photography: Tey Clamor

January of last year (2008), my friend, Tey, asked me to model for her and her friends - they're photographers. Of course I was down. She didn't have a make-up artist so she asked me to do it myself. She wanted me to look like a doll so she pointed me in the direction and I went for it.

Enjoy!!

Smokey-ish

I was bored :P

First 3 shots with lashes. Next 2 without.

I got those lashes for 20pesos! Unbelievable!! Oh the joys of living in the Philippines! 48pesos or so is like a dollar so I pretty much spent around 50cents on these bad boys! Haha.

But I guess you get what you pay for because I bought some other pairs and one of them fell apart after I used them for fun just twice, YIKES! Luckily these held on.

Enjoy!